This is my Cat nut.
I found it while walking to the library in a snow storm in Virginia almost ten years ago. It looks as if it was shered on the back like some massive beast snapped in two in her gaping maw.
When I found it, it was a wonder to me. Wow. How much force did that take? Cool.
And then a thought struck me, if there was force like this in the world, then there was force enough in me to run a 5k.
Yeah, nuts. Truely, perfrectly insane.
That’s life with Santha. So started my running carreer that ended with the Black Squierll Triathalon.
I enjoyed the runner’s high, but my knees did not. Now that I’m 40 pounds lighter than I was in Virginia, I’m sad that my knees are gone. The doctor says they are only gone from running, so walking and hiking are my best options (well, and swimming and boating and water stuff).
Anyway, back to the Cat nut. For me, it was an inspiration and remider that all is possible in this world. Powerful forces lurk everywhere—even on the walk to the library.
This week, I am throwing it out.
I can have the memory without having the object. Metaphysically, I never “have” the object to begin with as all possessions are really just “rented” while we are here on the earth.
I credit this to Dorian. She had begun a “cleaning out” journey before she passed on to glory. I remember she even threw out her unicorn stuffed animal that sat on her bed for almost her entire life.
I cried when she told me she threw it out. It represented something, maybe an innocence, from our childhood…when we were both perfect, loved and protected children.
I still have all my dolls and could not bear to part with them yet (I tried for the garage sale; didn’t take). I want to be like Dorian and live completely in the present.
I’m not there yet.
Such Sadness. Ugh. Alright…here’s something that’s been making me super happy….
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